Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
