you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
