Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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