dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
