she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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