okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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