woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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