I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize