Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
