He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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