I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
