Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
