Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
