super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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