can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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