So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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