Umm I'm too high to move.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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