if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
