I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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