he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I FOUND THE LEGS
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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