We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
