I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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