STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
