singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
