So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
