Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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