This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
