If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
