We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
