Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
