She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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