K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
