I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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