Me too!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
