Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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