Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
