My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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