You can't motorboat a personality
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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