Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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