i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
