You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
