ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize