CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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