i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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