I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
