Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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