Me too!
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
