All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
