ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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