Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
