ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
