Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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