Sry I called you an 8
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
