I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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