i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
