your room smells of hookers.
And success
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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