remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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