I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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