Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
