yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
