Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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