I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
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She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
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Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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